New found love.

On nurturing and preserving innocent love and its power in reforming an Individual. On the strength that is needed to get through the crisis and pitfalls that come in the way.

Its been such a little while since I met you. I still feel like I’ve known you for the longest time. The metamorphosis from being acquaintances to being friends has taken little time. Since then I’ve been able to share everything and anything with you. Whatever I wanted to. Whatever I should have. Well, maybe not really everything. Not yet….. But still I feel we have a lot to talk about. I want to tell you a lot of things. I want to listen a lot. I don’t know why I chose you.

But sometimes I feel I don’t know you at all. I don’t know about your family. Where you studied? Who was your first crush? Who was your best friend in Kindergarten?

But I know your thoughts and I absolutely love them. They are as pure and cute as you. Innocence which when handled to a person scares him out of his wits. That which is a greatest responsibility and you have to safeguard it with life. But you also nurture it with love and affection.

I know you like to rise early in the morning to witness the spectacle that sunrise is. I know you do your yoga alone on your terrace at home everyday. I know you like to walk barefoot on the grass. You just love nature. Don’t you? I know you love dancing in the rain and your mommy stops you since she thinks it’s childish and you need to grow up but you don’t listen to any one. I know you never feel lonely even when you’re alone. I know….. But it doesn’t stop me from craving to know more. I don’t know what I want to know and you don’t need to ask me what I need to know. I can listen to you for hours on end. I know you cry when you see that poor kid serving dishes at that dhaba.

Talking to you was like talking to me. My world was turned around when I met you. I was a person having thoughts which I was bewildered to think that I could think of them. Your presence seemed to give me courage and assurance that I could/should speak without any inhibitions. You assured me that I was perfectly normal. Uncommon maybe but normal (An Oxymoron?).

But nevertheless I can safely say that you have a special place in my heart. A place I never knew existed. Place undiscovered before I met you. I mean I had long before given up the hope that I could change. I had let myself be swayed by the wave of time and circumstances. I never bothered to test myself and swim against the tide. Deep down I always felt that I was capable of doing it but you assured me that I REALLY could. I never thought I’d meet somebody like you. I never had a clue that people like you ever walked on this earth. Your kind of people was supposed to be an extinct species. You were supposed to exist only in fairy tales to be told to little kids about what could happen only in the realm of mind. You’re the painting as clear as the heart of Virgin Mary, a sculpture which would breathe to life any moment, a poem nurtured with love and caring. You are beyond my comprehension. Unrealistic. Wishful thinking. Mirage. Hope in the heart of a hopeless person.

I never thought there could ever be a person who’s as innocent as you are. Somebody’s who’s as understanding as you are. Somebody who makes all the sense. Somebody who’s untouched by the ways of the world. Somebody who does not judges in haste. But nevertheless I can see that you too are not immune to manipulation. On being prone to alleged machination, I must say that you need to choose your friends wisely. Don’t mistrust anyone but don’t give the rein of your life in anyone else’s hand without testing him. I blame your detachment from the proverbial real world for that. But that’s the thing which I like about you. But that’s also the thing you should be wary about.

Our recent misunderstandings not withstanding, I still feel I want to talk to you. I still feel I like you. Though I would never force anything on you or make you feel uncomfortable. I still regret how you misunderstood me on that doomed day. Whatever you thought I was going to do was clearly not my intention. Surely not at that time. I can never ever make such a hasty gesture and ruin the friendship that is still flowering, still in its nascent stages.

I adore you. I might also say that I worship you. You’re like a goddess to me. Dreamlike. Heavenly. Unscathed by this cruel selfish world I was trapped in. I felt like a hostage in that reality. Without any hope. Just going through routines without meaning to do it or wanting to do it. Lying there just like a vegetable or something. You showed me a way out. I loved it when I started watching things the way you see them. Everything took a different hue. I was sure I was on the right track now.

I must admit that I’ve done some really stupid things in my life. Some really bad ugly events happened in my life and I was weak enough to get swayed by the events and foolish enough to believe I was in control and that was what I wanted. I am trying to bring about a change in me for better. Change goes on all through life of a man but I’m trying to direct that change for betterment. But I can’t do it on my own. I want you to support me. I want you to give me markers towards what I’m doing wrong and what I was doing right. I want you to move along with me. Validate me, chide me, punish me, just never let go of me. After showing me what lies beyond the horizon, don’t give up on me.

I hope we can be good friends for the longest time from now on with no misunderstandings or miscommunications whatsoever. I can just hope that I can be trusted and am willing to discuss issues since I believe that’s the best way of dealing with them rather than brushing it under the carpet.