Friday, January 18, 2008

Encounter with your Demons

The face-off with your demons. It could be the easiest or the most difficult thing. The job cannot be passed onto someone else. All is up to you. The way it always was.

You're face to face with fear itself,
You conquer your demons, you conquer it all,
But the mind plays games with your fickle weak soul,
You doubt your capacities; you question your want,

You feel powerless, fall into this abyss of blues, get distressed,
When challenged, you step back and digress
From furthering on the road ahead,

The opportunity you blew away turns into a curse,
You feel uneasy; everything seems to be going irreversibly wrong,
And situation goes from bad to worse,

You can’t seem to garner strength,
There seems to be no source of hope,
Death stares straight into your face,
It is worse than the death of the body,
It's a curse, the death of spirit,
You turn into a zombie, a living corpse,

Unable to conquer your mind,
Your impotence is laid bare to the world,
You drown in the stares of all.
The last adversary succeeds, remains unconquered,
The devil dictates terms,
Takes control of your life, smothers your soul,

You were unable to find strength;
You fell into a trap,
Stepped right into the black hole,
Get caught in a time warp,
Where every torturous moment takes a million years to pass,

You gave up the fight before it even began, you were cursed to lose, and with every passing moment, it takes a stronger grip on you,

You'll have to dig deep into your spirit,
To rise from the bottom of the ocean of hopelessness,
You'll have to work harder to muster strength,
And you have no other choice.
Keep on living this death,
Or scream and reclaim your voice,

The breakdown might've become your biggest strength;
It might've lead you towards discovering powers
That would've otherwise forever remained latent,

Your soul can once again become unpossessed,
You still can live your life yourself,

Use the defeat of the battle as a springboard
To reach the higher rungs of ladder,
Contribute your truth and share your shoulder,
To inspire others in their pilgrimage,

Try to fight back, give it a shot,
Rise back from ropes,
Stage a comeback; shock yourself,
Amaze the world,

Give back with gratitude
Repay the debt you owe to the world,
Awake from the sleep, get down to work,
If nothing feels right,
Change it so it works the way it should work.

You can find hope in the darkest corners of your mind,
Salvage the hope and fight the good fight,
Without any expectations of the conquest,
But remain determined to progress,
And break free from the confines of apprehension,
Gain control of the mind's fortress,

Try to reclaim your soul from the devil, give it your best shot.

May you find peace and hope,
May you reclaim the contact with the fountainhead.

Good Friends, Good People.

A song about being light hearted and clear of all the negativity always. Keep smiling.




That's all right, my good people,
Indeed that's perfectly fine.
I a'int committed no robbery,
I a'int guilty of no crime.

Don't blame me for your sorrows,
Don't you blame me for your crimes,
I worked while you laughed
I kept slogging when you slept away.
I kept the hope when you were swept away,

So don't blame me for your sorrows,
You kept gibing while I walked the line,

I was sick of all your teasing,
Now I mock you all the time,
I don't do it coz I hate you,
I don't do it to make you feel asinine,
I mean your good and I'm just pushing you to walk the line.

Play along, O my brothers,
Laugh along as you pass through the aisle,

You don't need my blessings,
You're better than what you're guessing,
I never sought no one to be benign,
Just be steady while you're walking,
Just be solid as you go through life,
Be subtle and good to people,

May god bless you with good people
And may you have a merry good time.

Search of the source.

Discovery of the self. Realizing your reality and the march back to from where you atarted. It might seem without a purpose now but maybe it'll make us appreciate the oneness with the source better.



I am not an island; I was never detached in my independence,
Never meant to be aloof in spite of my isolation,

Even though we're all joined by same umbilical cord, we are unique yet similar,
I don't realize the extent of binding and freedom we all share,

I am a river nourished and poisoned by countless tributaries.
A mountain unshakeable as it ever could be,
Also an insect living there adapting to survive, So he could live,
A spring bringing forth the treasures that are buried deep within this oceanic spirit,

Neither an improvement nor deterioration of my species,
Just an inconsequential but unalienable part of sport, whose reason is destined to remain unfigurable,

I am a result of evolution and regression of my forefathers,
I am everything they were, everything they lost and a little bit more,

I am the rebel striving for change while trying to hold pieces in their place,
Questioning the rituals of the rebellion,
Also a conformist in my own special way without me realizing it,
Balancing tradition and institution with everything they call new and modern,
But struggling to find wisdom, moving on while I dread misdirection,

Coz even if our paths may cross at many places but we need to find our own
Stopping long enough to introspect but moving on to prevent stagnation,
Getting into a routine, but not settling down in it,

I am a circle, never ending and never beginning, Existing without identifying its larger purpose,

But still moving on, since you do not need to understand your reason to fulfil it,

Its something that is ingrained into you, you have to search it within you,
Your destiny is not your own, it creates ripples into the whole providence,
Insignificant it might be, but it's indispensable.

Widening my scope every time I try to see the worlds lying beyond my horizons,


I am the artist, the instrument and the work of art,
all encompassing, I am the art,
The reflection of the world in a mere speck of the dust.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

New found love.

On nurturing and preserving innocent love and its power in reforming an Individual. On the strength that is needed to get through the crisis and pitfalls that come in the way.


Its been such a little while since I met you. I still feel like I’ve known you for the longest time. The metamorphosis from being acquaintances to being friends has taken little time. Since then I’ve been able to share everything and anything with you. Whatever I wanted to. Whatever I should have. Well, maybe not really everything. Not yet….. But still I feel we have a lot to talk about. I want to tell you a lot of things. I want to listen a lot. I don’t know why I chose you.

But sometimes I feel I don’t know you at all. I don’t know about your family. Where you studied? Who was your first crush? Who was your best friend in Kindergarten?

But I know your thoughts and I absolutely love them. They are as pure and cute as you. Innocence which when handled to a person scares him out of his wits. That which is a greatest responsibility and you have to safeguard it with life. But you also nurture it with love and affection.

I know you like to rise early in the morning to witness the spectacle that sunrise is. I know you do your yoga alone on your terrace at home everyday. I know you like to walk barefoot on the grass. You just love nature. Don’t you? I know you love dancing in the rain and your mommy stops you since she thinks it’s childish and you need to grow up but you don’t listen to any one. I know you never feel lonely even when you’re alone. I know….. But it doesn’t stop me from craving to know more. I don’t know what I want to know and you don’t need to ask me what I need to know. I can listen to you for hours on end. I know you cry when you see that poor kid serving dishes at that dhaba.

Talking to you was like talking to me. My world was turned around when I met you. I was a person having thoughts which I was bewildered to think that I could think of them. Your presence seemed to give me courage and assurance that I could/should speak without any inhibitions. You assured me that I was perfectly normal. Uncommon maybe but normal (An Oxymoron?).

But nevertheless I can safely say that you have a special place in my heart. A place I never knew existed. Place undiscovered before I met you. I mean I had long before given up the hope that I could change. I had let myself be swayed by the wave of time and circumstances. I never bothered to test myself and swim against the tide. Deep down I always felt that I was capable of doing it but you assured me that I REALLY could. I never thought I’d meet somebody like you. I never had a clue that people like you ever walked on this earth. Your kind of people was supposed to be an extinct species. You were supposed to exist only in fairy tales to be told to little kids about what could happen only in the realm of mind. You’re the painting as clear as the heart of Virgin Mary, a sculpture which would breathe to life any moment, a poem nurtured with love and caring. You are beyond my comprehension. Unrealistic. Wishful thinking. Mirage. Hope in the heart of a hopeless person.

I never thought there could ever be a person who’s as innocent as you are. Somebody’s who’s as understanding as you are. Somebody who makes all the sense. Somebody who’s untouched by the ways of the world. Somebody who does not judges in haste. But nevertheless I can see that you too are not immune to manipulation. On being prone to alleged machination, I must say that you need to choose your friends wisely. Don’t mistrust anyone but don’t give the rein of your life in anyone else’s hand without testing him. I blame your detachment from the proverbial real world for that. But that’s the thing which I like about you. But that’s also the thing you should be wary about.

Our recent misunderstandings not withstanding, I still feel I want to talk to you. I still feel I like you. Though I would never force anything on you or make you feel uncomfortable. I still regret how you misunderstood me on that doomed day. Whatever you thought I was going to do was clearly not my intention. Surely not at that time. I can never ever make such a hasty gesture and ruin the friendship that is still flowering, still in its nascent stages.

I adore you. I might also say that I worship you. You’re like a goddess to me. Dreamlike. Heavenly. Unscathed by this cruel selfish world I was trapped in. I felt like a hostage in that reality. Without any hope. Just going through routines without meaning to do it or wanting to do it. Lying there just like a vegetable or something. You showed me a way out. I loved it when I started watching things the way you see them. Everything took a different hue. I was sure I was on the right track now.

I must admit that I’ve done some really stupid things in my life. Some really bad ugly events happened in my life and I was weak enough to get swayed by the events and foolish enough to believe I was in control and that was what I wanted. I am trying to bring about a change in me for better. Change goes on all through life of a man but I’m trying to direct that change for betterment. But I can’t do it on my own. I want you to support me. I want you to give me markers towards what I’m doing wrong and what I was doing right. I want you to move along with me. Validate me, chide me, punish me, just never let go of me. After showing me what lies beyond the horizon, don’t give up on me.

I hope we can be good friends for the longest time from now on with no misunderstandings or miscommunications whatsoever. I can just hope that I can be trusted and am willing to discuss issues since I believe that’s the best way of dealing with them rather than brushing it under the carpet.