Spiritual Crisis
Who are we? What are we? Where did we come from? What’s our purpose in our life? How did we come into being? Do I really need the answers? Do I really deserve them? Am I really prepared to listen to them? Why shouldn’t I let it remain mystery?
Anyways, I’ll let these questions remain unanswered for a while.
Never judge people by their words. Words can be made up by people considering the needs and situations. People can play with words to use them to their advantage if they have something at stake. If they had nothing to lose and they didn’t cared, then words could’ve been window to their souls. But sadly that’s not the case. I say watch whether they are true to what they say. First step towards not being a hypocrite is admitting that you’re a hypocrite.
I’ve noticed one thing. People are unashamedly hypocritical and manipulative. They say that they are innocent and world is full of crap. They sound righteous in their statements but are unashamedly wicked and sadistic in their actions. They derive pleasure from people’s sorrows and torture people mentally. Then they go around the world bragging about how desired and how wonderful they are. About how innocent and naive they are in the ways of the world.
I hear a lot of crap from people about how ugly I am and how I cannot talk well. About how unsuccessful I am with girls. Well. Anyways. As much ugly and repulsive as I am and I cannot do much to change how I look and sound but still I ask if is this is all there is to my life. Is that the whole meaning and purpose of my life?
Ok let me come to the topic bugging me for quite some time. I feel left out. Like an outcast. Left out of this sodomy called life. This goddamned materialistic world. My so-called friends talk a lot about how they respect women. At the same time they ask me to be manipulative in my ways and fake an “ATTITUDE”. Attitude portraying superiority and ego, arrogance and pomposity.
So that they can be attracted towards my enigmatic and elusive persona. Don’t I have better things to do than appearing to be someone who I am not? Shouldn’t I rather devote my energies doing something more constructive and something more long lasting? Something which improves my character and flourishes my intellectual capabilities. Something which will improve my physical competence. Something which will bring about more lasting happiness and more lasting meaning. Something which will help me becomes a more complete person.
Don’t giving a crap about other people’s feelings. Not fucking caring about anyone else but your wants. Your needs. But deep down feeling guilty that we are being untrue to yourself. That something is wrong somewhere. But choke that feeble little goddamned voice called conscience as easily as they their screwed up minds allow them to.
Gaining popularity by disrespecting simple folks who cannot defend or present their views coherently logically. Gaining reputation by making fun of others. Gaining status by bragging about what they did and who they know. By making up lies and hurting people to gain their confidence and gratitude. Gaining by depicting themselves complete in all those aspects others feel incomplete, impotent and insecure about. Faking a know it all smile. Been there done that crap.
Is this justified? Is this right? Should I join the party? Do I want to join? Fuck no! Do I want to have the thoughts I’m having. I think yes. Even if they hurt and torture me mentally. Even if I feel choked. Even if I feel lonely. Friendless. Insane. Crazy.
I guess nothing could be a more thrilling, fulfilling adventure than standing up for what you believe in. Just be sure not to lose the perspective and not to be blinded by your ideals and turn into a fanatic vehemently imposing his viewpoint or living in his own bubble. Always be ready to hear your foes out. Even if it’s just to get a better understanding of their point of view. Maybe it will give you a point or two which you can keep in mind to improve or which you think is in your favor or which you can use to attack them.
Man I don’t see the respect for women. I don’t know if all of them are worthy of it or not. I don’t think you should talk crap about them. People spread rumors about them. People fucking only see them as objects for sexual gratification. They talk excitedly about how they manipulated the girls to do whatever they wanted them to do. They say that girls are emotional fools and can be manipulated and in the same breath they would say that they are being friendly and there was no intention to flirt or play mind games. They couldn’t care less about their feelings. They justify their actions by labeling them as tramps that deserve to be treated that way. I think I ought to ask them about how they would think if the same thing happened to their daughters, sisters and mothers.
I see sick sadistic bastards with a very perverted value system graduating out of the graduation schools. These people can cross any limits to satisfy the cravings of their mind. People see education in a very narrow perspective. Only considering how he fared academically to judge him. Which college he went to? How much percentage? How much Rank? How much CGPA?
There seems to be no notion of right or wrong. Only desires needing to be fulfilled. There is no concept of guilt, innocence or retribution in their spirit. These people seem to me to be walking dead. Numb to all the human feelings. Cold and calculating as some mothafuckin’ androids. Closed to feelings of other people. Living for themselves in the delusion they created for themselves so painstakingly. Man I would hate to hurt someone else for my pleasure.
Not complete yet but I don’t think it’s supposed to be complete। I plan to keep on rambling all my life.
Who are we? What are we? Where did we come from? What’s our purpose in our life? How did we come into being? Do I really need the answers? Do I really deserve them? Am I really prepared to listen to them? Why shouldn’t I let it remain mystery?
Anyways, I’ll let these questions remain unanswered for a while.
Never judge people by their words. Words can be made up by people considering the needs and situations. People can play with words to use them to their advantage if they have something at stake. If they had nothing to lose and they didn’t cared, then words could’ve been window to their souls. But sadly that’s not the case. I say watch whether they are true to what they say. First step towards not being a hypocrite is admitting that you’re a hypocrite.
I’ve noticed one thing. People are unashamedly hypocritical and manipulative. They say that they are innocent and world is full of crap. They sound righteous in their statements but are unashamedly wicked and sadistic in their actions. They derive pleasure from people’s sorrows and torture people mentally. Then they go around the world bragging about how desired and how wonderful they are. About how innocent and naive they are in the ways of the world.
I hear a lot of crap from people about how ugly I am and how I cannot talk well. About how unsuccessful I am with girls. Well. Anyways. As much ugly and repulsive as I am and I cannot do much to change how I look and sound but still I ask if is this is all there is to my life. Is that the whole meaning and purpose of my life?
Ok let me come to the topic bugging me for quite some time. I feel left out. Like an outcast. Left out of this sodomy called life. This goddamned materialistic world. My so-called friends talk a lot about how they respect women. At the same time they ask me to be manipulative in my ways and fake an “ATTITUDE”. Attitude portraying superiority and ego, arrogance and pomposity.
So that they can be attracted towards my enigmatic and elusive persona. Don’t I have better things to do than appearing to be someone who I am not? Shouldn’t I rather devote my energies doing something more constructive and something more long lasting? Something which improves my character and flourishes my intellectual capabilities. Something which will improve my physical competence. Something which will bring about more lasting happiness and more lasting meaning. Something which will help me becomes a more complete person.
Don’t giving a crap about other people’s feelings. Not fucking caring about anyone else but your wants. Your needs. But deep down feeling guilty that we are being untrue to yourself. That something is wrong somewhere. But choke that feeble little goddamned voice called conscience as easily as they their screwed up minds allow them to.
Gaining popularity by disrespecting simple folks who cannot defend or present their views coherently logically. Gaining reputation by making fun of others. Gaining status by bragging about what they did and who they know. By making up lies and hurting people to gain their confidence and gratitude. Gaining by depicting themselves complete in all those aspects others feel incomplete, impotent and insecure about. Faking a know it all smile. Been there done that crap.
Is this justified? Is this right? Should I join the party? Do I want to join? Fuck no! Do I want to have the thoughts I’m having. I think yes. Even if they hurt and torture me mentally. Even if I feel choked. Even if I feel lonely. Friendless. Insane. Crazy.
I guess nothing could be a more thrilling, fulfilling adventure than standing up for what you believe in. Just be sure not to lose the perspective and not to be blinded by your ideals and turn into a fanatic vehemently imposing his viewpoint or living in his own bubble. Always be ready to hear your foes out. Even if it’s just to get a better understanding of their point of view. Maybe it will give you a point or two which you can keep in mind to improve or which you think is in your favor or which you can use to attack them.
Man I don’t see the respect for women. I don’t know if all of them are worthy of it or not. I don’t think you should talk crap about them. People spread rumors about them. People fucking only see them as objects for sexual gratification. They talk excitedly about how they manipulated the girls to do whatever they wanted them to do. They say that girls are emotional fools and can be manipulated and in the same breath they would say that they are being friendly and there was no intention to flirt or play mind games. They couldn’t care less about their feelings. They justify their actions by labeling them as tramps that deserve to be treated that way. I think I ought to ask them about how they would think if the same thing happened to their daughters, sisters and mothers.
I see sick sadistic bastards with a very perverted value system graduating out of the graduation schools. These people can cross any limits to satisfy the cravings of their mind. People see education in a very narrow perspective. Only considering how he fared academically to judge him. Which college he went to? How much percentage? How much Rank? How much CGPA?
There seems to be no notion of right or wrong. Only desires needing to be fulfilled. There is no concept of guilt, innocence or retribution in their spirit. These people seem to me to be walking dead. Numb to all the human feelings. Cold and calculating as some mothafuckin’ androids. Closed to feelings of other people. Living for themselves in the delusion they created for themselves so painstakingly. Man I would hate to hurt someone else for my pleasure.
Not complete yet but I don’t think it’s supposed to be complete। I plan to keep on rambling all my life.
P.S. I think my feeling of feeling left out stems from something lacking in me. Mostly low self confidence. I guess all I can do is try to become a better person. Improve everything that is wrong with me. There is a tremendous scope of improvement at any given time. I will focus on what needs to be corrected. Peace.
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